The Algoa Toastmasters Club: Humourous Speech Contest

Toastmasters on 23 August followed a different format from the one we are used to. It was time for our annual humorous speech contest. Five hardy souls braved the blustery weather to try their hand at making a humorous speech and proved the truth that “laughter, actually, is all around” (with apologies to one of my favourite movies of all time).
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First a little news about our friends
To those who are a little under the weather, hurry back. We miss you!! Roger Ah Khun is keeping up the adventurous spirit of the club, and is leaving for America for a 3 month holiday. Take a bite out of the big apple for us Roger!! One of our most senior members, Alan Hunter has passed his latest exams, and is well on his way to completing his LLB. What an inspiration he is to the rest of us! Congrats to Vossie, who has finally managed to tie the mercurial Marlene down. Here’s to many happy years. Is President Colleen illustrating her name and spreading the LOVE?!

And an update on the Dues ...
As mentioned in the last blog, Toastmasters International has raised their membership dues. We cannot absorb this increase, so the new fees will increase to R270 biannually. The new members’ joining fee will be R230. We are inevitably caught between HQ and the fluctuating exchange rate. This was put to last night’s meeting, and the motion was carried unanimously. We are glad that our members value what Algoa does for us. Thanks to Plaxcedes Ndlovu, our treasurer, for keeping her careful eye on matters monetary.

Did you see the new logo?
TMI revealed the new corporate image and logo on 17 August. Here’s what it looks like, in case you haven’t seen it.
The old motto read: "Become the Speaker & Leader You Want To Be". I must say I like the new “trimmed down” slogan. I know words are our business, but sometimes less is definitely more.

The Contest..... Under the warmly encouraging hand of Contest Chair, Nicholas Mitchell, the competition got underway. First out of the block was Michael Warren with his speech “Double time”. Most unlike Michael, he reluctantly admitted that last year’s speech on the joys of being single, had perhaps been premature. After getting engaged just a month ago, he is set to join the ranks of the SMPs – smug married people – when he marries Lindi on the 5th of November. At least, he won’t forget his wedding anniversary, along with generations of British kids who “Remember, remember ...” He has discovered in his month of wedding planning that blue is not just a colour! He asked what’s up with these made up colours? Blossom blue” and “watermelon” just didn’t exist when we were children! And it’s not just wedding cake any more. Instead we have Piles of Petit fours and Mounds or Macaroons.

Next came Alison Immelman with “Educating with Rita”. We teach with many weird wired and wacky women, but they are all topped by a special lady called Daisy Petal* (Names changed to protect the innocent and the guilty!) What with goose-stepping history, Hitler style, to smoking dat stuff on the Bluff, teaching is never dull

Marianah Lourens entertained us with her stories about being “Old and Blonde and Eish!” dizzy busy Gran. One story illustrated the cruel but funny things that families do to us – like putting a baby chicken inside a turkey under the stuffing and telling her, “You cooked a pregnant turkey!” Marianah tells us than when we order a drink we ask for whisky with a drop of water because when you’re our age, we can hold our alcohol but holding our water is quite another thing. After all, my short term memory is not what it used to be ... my short term memory is not what it used to be.........

Quinton Jacobs tried to tell us that “Life is like a Weather Forecast”. He tells us that he always gets the forecast right, and asks why we haven’t we kissed his feet. Excuses, excuses, Quinton – he tells us that we only remember the days they get it wrong. After all, Life is unpredictable – and so is the weather.

Antoinette Baatjies’ speech was entitled “Scotty I need some freaking sacks!” which was about the time she was coerced by the priest into arranging games for the parish picnic. How do you tell Father James “I have headache darling”? And why can’t the water be turned into wine or whisky when we need it? No worries – she called on her friend who is a scout master. But no wonder the scouting friend didn’t answer her phone calls – after all what would his wife say to Antoinette’s wanting “sacks”?!