Words are all I have........... - 27 September

How wonderful it was to be able once again to greet old and new friends: 21 members, 1 truant, and 2 look-sees. We extend a special welcome to Johannes and William. Hope to see you again soon.
Warm congratulations go to Plaxcedes Ndlovu who has reached the milestone
of 5 speeches. We look forward to hearing number six!!
Toastmaster for the evening was VP Membership, Marianah Lourens.
Here’s a thought: Did you know that every time you carry out a role in Toastmasters,
(as Marianah did last night) you can be evaluated and make progress in your
Competent Leader Manual? These evaluations can also help our club achieve a
“Distinguished Club” status – Don’t forget!!
Marianah chose “Talking” as her theme for the evening – after all, we are Toastmasters!
Marianah also asked the role players what qualifications they have, and how these have
prepared them for tonight’s proceedings.
Marianah’s theme reminded me of my mother, who claimed that women have 3000 words that they need to get off their chests every day. I knew that when she started a phone call with those words, that I should just pull up a chair, pour a glass of red wine, and get ready to say “Yes Dear” every five minutes or so for the next hour and a half!

Barry Serfontein, apart from having qualified with a Marketing degree, worked for Watches of Switzerland for several years. This, we decided, made him more than eligible to be a superlative Timekeeper. Um and Ah counter was one of our newest members, Rosemary Sampson.
Grammarian, Louise Erasmus encouraged us to use the language correctly, beautifully, creatively. She challenged us with the Word of the day, PRESUMPTUOUS (the state of assuming things that perhaps you oughtn’t!) which was used by 5 people.

Belita von Steiger (our Table Topics Master) has a myriad letters after her name, including an MBA, but suggested that her best training has been the 55 years that she’s been on earth!
Her topic for the evening was “learning lessons for life”, OR “How would you talk your way out of ... “
Mimi Makapula did a good take on receiving a disastrous piece of news, via her cell phone;
Guest Johannes convincingly talked his way out of the time he asked a chubby friend when her baby was due;
Plaxcedes didn’t have the money to pay the debt. It was in her wallet, really it was...
Alan Hunter suggested that if you bump into your manager when you’ve taken a day’s sick leave, props are essential – like a Dischem packet. Alternatively, attack is the best form of defence: Shouldn’t you be at the office...?

Annette argued that if her non-baby friend insisted on holding her colicky baby while wearing her power suit, she certainly wouldn’t apologise if the lambkin oopsed all over her. After all, she chose to hold the cherub!
Quinton sent an sms to the wrong person, and suggested that the only thing to do was to pretend like it didn’t happen.


Alison Immelman flicked friends and went to the club when she said she wanted to chill at home. Her way out? Pretend you’re having an out of body experience, and you really don’t know them. (My name’s Alison, and I’m an inveterate liar).

William Tapson fell into the full mailbox trap. It wasn’t his fault that he didn’t get the email!

Craig Stephens (welcome back, buddy) didn’t get his Homework signed. It was all his mom’s fault. After she had an unfortunate reaction to the Botox treatment, she couldn’t possibly sign something she couldn’t see. Now there’s an improvement on the “dog ate my homework” line!

Well done, William and Johannes, for taking the plunge!
And, by the way, don’t ever think that Toastmasters doesn’t teach you anything!

What an exciting line up of speakers Tom organised for us, with four of our newer members proving that they were definitely on their way through the CC manual.
Two speakers, Ayanda Ngwabe and Jessamy Kromhout, both broke the ice with their CC1s

Ayanda spoke about his conviction that God is present and alive, and paid tribute to his parents who gave him the gift of a brighter future. If a boy of his background can make it so far, how can there be no God? He used a touching parallel with Martin Luther King’s famous I have a Dream, only Ayanda’s dream is that we can build a beautiful future for all South Africans.

Jessamy coined the word “Mundanity”, but, unusually, allied it with Magic. Her belief? That there really is magic in the most routine of tasks. She told us that she had had some of the best teachers in the world: she was taught to think by her father (the greatest teacher ever in Jessamy’s view), while her mother taught her to love, and led by example.

We were delighted that Deborah Stephenson honoured us with her long-awaited CC2. She used 25 years of fly fishing as a metaphor for life. Lessons she has learnt include patience, gratitude, appreciating beauty in nature and especially how to relate to people – not to mention “Mrs Simpson at the evening rise”.

Liandra Schoultz (also doing her CC2) entertained us with tales of hysterical travels through Brazil. She entitled her speech Garota de Ipenema (or, the girl from Ipenema). Her experiences included dodgy taxi drivers, playing Survivor in the Amazon with piranhas staring at her from her plate, and egg sandwiches for Christmas dinner

Going from the sublime to the truly awe-inspiring, Nicholas Mitchell undertook his AC 26!! This project entailed delivering the key note address to a group of students: Life is like a Box of Chocolates. Because (something all men should know) what interests women? Chocolate!! Nicholas used chocolate to illustrate a series of valuable life lessons, including that life is a gift, that appearances can be deceiving, and that we should do everything in moderation – even if we really want to gobble the box all on our own.
Nicholas rounded off his speech with a nod to John Donne. Don’t be an island, because life is best shared – and proved this by showering the house with the real McCoy.

The Toast of the day was offered by Liandra Schoultz. Furthering her theme of travel she toasted to safe travel – most appropriate when you consider the state of South Africa’s roads

Evaluators for the evening included Mimi Makapula who has a degree in motherhood with 2 teenage distinctions. She says she can’t wait to get her life back!Also up were Colleen Love (a lady who wears many hats), Alison Immelman, whose years of study have qualified her for absolutely nothing (which is why she’s a teacher, because those who can do...), Tom Horne whose forty-one years of Toastmastering (did he start when he was 12?) have made him ready for anything – but especially gentle, positive feedback, and Annette Lovemore, an advanced Toastmaster (Bronze) herself.
The Top Toastie award was made to Ayanda for his exceptional effort with his icebreaker, and sharing with us a message from the heart, proving that dreams really do come true. The best Table Topic was presented by Alan Hunter.

In closing :

Words of Wisdom - 13 September

Once again, we had a resounding turnout: 26 members, 4 guests and two inductions.
We were delighted to welcome Ayanda Ncwabe and Jessamy Kromhoudt to our ranks. May your stay be long, and happy, and fruitful. This takes our membership to 43. We must be doing something right!!


To Colleen Love for the 4th,
Mimi Makupula (5th),
Elaine Stewart Coyne (7th),
... and still to come, Thomas Duthie on 21st



The Toastmaster for the evening was Marlene Vosloo, our very experienced past president and area Governor, as well as being the face of youth leadership in the city. As Elaine Stewart-Coyne said, “She should have been a dancer,” because she’s always on her toes! Hope she knows what Socrates might have meant! Her theme for the evening was “What would you tell
the 21-year-old Marlene?”

Setting the scene, she told us...
The year was 1987, the man of the moment was Patrick Swayze (be still my beating heart), and Marlene was in love! Sad but true, though, not all men can dance like Swayze – and the waves don’t crash and violins don’t carol when you do it!
She told us that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. For Marlene this is Toastmasters – and we’re definitely not average!!
Her words of wisdom to herself?
“Be careful of Patrick S’s charming ways but go with your gut!”
After all, to quote Paulo Coelho:

Further pearls of advice came from timekeeper, Tanja Gauss (Don’t sweat the petty stuff), Um and Ah counter, Cheneille Jeffries Badenhorst (Stop trying to be everyone’s saviour), and Louise Solomons (If a man walks out on you, close the door behind him), our grammarian for the evening. Louise’s word of the day was “WINSOME” – sweet, innocent, charming. This was used impressively by 6 Toastmasters





Table Topics Master, Mark Barry, (Risk a little more. It’ll still be there in the morning) set us the challenging topic of what we would tell our local barman if we were in low spirits after a tough Monday at work. (And how does that make you feel?)Drunken personalities included Antoinette as a cop who doesn’t have to buy a fake moustache because she already has one to suit the job

Alison as the Post office worker, stamping everything – and everyone – in sight;
Glenis – sad, because with everyone in NZ, no-one is visiting Glenis’s hotel;
Jessamy, the sad shrimp, jealous of the barman who spends his day serving all the winsome young girls;
Deborah, who was generally having a blue Monday, but was very grateful that Tuesday always comes;
And Colleen who told us that she can’t complain about work. Friends? Job? She hasn’t got one!!

As always, our programme involved a variety of CC projects.

Rosemary Sampson broke the ice with her CC1, (Begin speaking before an audience, and find and develop skills she already has), a moving tribute to her father, Victor, the Champion.
Her wise words were Wait – wait – wait! Compatibility is essential, while her father’s were Never tolerate the assault by one on another’s dignity – no matter who the person is.

Belita von Steiger – well into her CC schedule – delivered her CC3 (Get to the Point), with the interesting angle: “To the point, but what point?” She drew attention to the fact that although we are a family, we comprise many distinct members. How on earth does one choose a topic for this disparate audience – from gender and rugby to IT or politics!? What a challenge. Her advice to us? Relax, take it easy..

Our third and fourth speakers both tackled their CC4 (encouraging the use of vocal variety). Interestingly these very different speakers gave us an object lesson in personalising the CC series. Peter Peters chose to inform with his speech entitled “The Controversy of Living a Healthy Lifestyle”, while Plaxcedes Ndlovu opted to take us along on a walk through “The Smoke that Thunders”. Her speech brought to mind a (probably apocryphal) story about an old white dude who was sitting on the verandah at the Victoria Falls Hotel (the real Last Outpost) sipping his G & T. He said to the steward: “What do you people call that over there?” (pointing to the Falls). He was trying to elicit the Shona name: Mosi-oa-Tunya, which means “The smoke that thunders”. The reply, with the straightest look possible, was, “We call it The Victoria Falls”!
Peter’s speech, apart from pushing all my guilt buttons, was thought provoking as always.

The Toast of the Day was presented by Liandra Schoultz (Don’t be afraid to ask questions). Her toast was to the hope on everyone’s mind: Spring – to renewal and growth

Evaluators for the evening included Quinton Jacobs (Don’t get that puppy!), Alison Immelman, (Buy property – it lasts longer than fast cars), Rhona Murchie (Get contact lenses) and Marianah Lourens (Carpe diem –how she wishes that she hadn’t let opportunities pass her by). Quinton agreed with the whole property thing, but added that he might give in to the fast bike temptation!

OR MAYBE.................BUT THEN AGAIN..........

It was a bitter-sweet moment when Elaine Stewart-Coyne (Follow your innocent intuition) presented her general evaluation. She has sadly had to resign from Algoa, owing to her commitment to another City club, of which she is the immediate past president. She commented on the friendly atmosphere at Algoa that keeps us coming back. She also noted the welcoming committee that Marianah (VP Membership) has organised. All we know is that Elaine will always be part of our family, and is welcome any time.
Top Toastie of the evening was Rosemary Sampson for bravely wearing her heart on her sleeve, while the best Table Topics speaker was Jessamy Kromhoudt, the “Sad Shrimp” – well done! And on the occasion of your induction, too!

Humourous Speech Contest - 23 August

Toastmasters on 23 August followed a different format from the one we are used to. It was time for our annual humorous speech contest. Five hardy souls braved the blustery weather to try their hand at making a humorous speech and proved the truth that “laughter, actually, is all around” (with apologies to one of my favourite movies of all time).
div> First a little news about our friends
To those who are a little under the weather, hurry back. We miss you!! Roger Ah Khun is keeping up the adventurous spirit of the club, and is leaving for America for a 3 month holiday. Take a bite out of the big apple for us Roger!! One of our most senior members, Alan Hunter has passed his latest exams, and is well on his way to completing his LLB. What an inspiration he is to the rest of us! Congrats to Vossie, who has finally managed to tie the mercurial Marlene down. Here’s to many happy years. Is President Colleen illustrating her name and spreading the LOVE?!

And an update on the Dues ...
As mentioned in the last blog, Toastmasters International has raised their membership dues. We cannot absorb this increase, so the new fees will increase to R270 biannually. The new members’ joining fee will be R230. We are inevitably caught between HQ and the fluctuating exchange rate. This was put to last night’s meeting, and the motion was carried unanimously. We are glad that our members value what Algoa does for us. Thanks to Plaxcedes Ndlovu, our treasurer, for keeping her careful eye on matters monetary.

Did you see the new logo?
TMI revealed the new corporate image and logo on 17 August. Here’s what it looks like, in case you haven’t seen it.
The old motto read: "Become the Speaker & Leader You Want To Be". I must say I like the new “trimmed down” slogan. I know words are our business, but sometimes less is definitely more.

The Contest..... Under the warmly encouraging hand of Contest Chair, Nicholas Mitchell, the competition got underway. First out of the block was Michael Warren with his speech “Double time”. Most unlike Michael, he reluctantly admitted that last year’s speech on the joys of being single, had perhaps been premature. After getting engaged just a month ago, he is set to join the ranks of the SMPs – smug married people – when he marries Lindi on the 5th of November. At least, he won’t forget his wedding anniversary, along with generations of British kids who “Remember, remember ...” He has discovered in his month of wedding planning that blue is not just a colour! He asked what’s up with these made up colours? Blossom blue” and “watermelon” just didn’t exist when we were children! And it’s not just wedding cake any more. Instead we have Piles of Petit fours and Mounds or Macaroons.

Next came Alison Immelman with “Educating with Rita”. We teach with many weird wired and wacky women, but they are all topped by a special lady called Daisy Petal* (Names changed to protect the innocent and the guilty!) What with goose-stepping history, Hitler style, to smoking dat stuff on the Bluff, teaching is never dull

Marianah Lourens entertained us with her stories about being “Old and Blonde and Eish!” dizzy busy Gran. One story illustrated the cruel but funny things that families do to us – like putting a baby chicken inside a turkey under the stuffing and telling her, “You cooked a pregnant turkey!” Marianah tells us than when we order a drink we ask for whisky with a drop of water because when you’re our age, we can hold our alcohol but holding our water is quite another thing. After all, my short term memory is not what it used to be ... my short term memory is not what it used to be.........

Quinton Jacobs tried to tell us that “Life is like a Weather Forecast”. He tells us that he always gets the forecast right, and asks why we haven’t we kissed his feet. Excuses, excuses, Quinton – he tells us that we only remember the days they get it wrong. After all, Life is unpredictable – and so is the weather.

Antoinette Baatjies’ speech was entitled “Scotty I need some freaking sacks!” which was about the time she was coerced by the priest into arranging games for the parish picnic. How do you tell Father James “I have headache darling”? And why can’t the water be turned into wine or whisky when we need it? No worries – she called on her friend who is a scout master. But no wonder the scouting friend didn’t answer her phone calls – after all what would his wife say to Antoinette’s wanting “sacks”?!

And the winners were (drum roll please) ...

Antoinette will be participating in the Area contest on Saturday, 27 August, at VP Grey. Strength – go and make us proud!

Left to right: Michael, Antoinette, Alison

What's in a name - 09 August 2011

Quinton Jacobs, in his multi-tasking role as Sergeant at Arm for the evening, greeted a much smaller gathering than usual to this public holiday edition of Algoa TM.
Well done to the stalwarts who came out – especially the women who might well have pleaded a much-deserved day of rest. Perhaps the truth is that Algoa is a rest cure all of its own!

We were glad to welcome another bunch (of roses ... geddit?) of guests. We were especially thrilled to have Megan Judd with us. We wonder if she’s just sussing out the turf to take our great vibe back to her own club??
How lovely it was to welcome Annette Lovemore home. She has, of course, moved onto National Political pastures. We are so happy that this past president has renewed her membership. She told us about how she had to wing it at a Women’s Day celebration, when, instead of being the only speaker on the programme she was number 3. She tells us that she needs TM. That’s good because we need her.

We were just as glad to welcome back George Gerber and Jessamy Kromhout. We hear that Jessamy has already paid her dues and will be inducted in September. She has already proved her worth in her involvement in the Collegiate YL courses.

Also among our guests was Julie Truter, who was sussing out the situation for her training company staff. She told us that she could feel that we would have their interests at heart. It was also good to have speechcrafters Helen Wilson and Merle Terine with us. They are both teachers at Grey Junior.
To the following members who will be celebrating their birthdays this month:
 Glenis on 12th
 Mark Barry on 16th, and
 Leann on 21st August.

President Colleen Love reminded us of the motto for this year: “To grow people”, and that, of course, is why we share the roles at a TM meeting. We like as many people as possible to participate
because different voices allow for a feeling of change and learning

IMPORTANT information for our members:
 Remember to check out the TMI website on 17 August. The new logo will be launched. Tell them/us what you think!
 Sadly, fees have gone up $18 a year. This sounds like a lot, but equates to less than 5% per year since the last increase in 2005. Unfortunately, the club will not be able to absorb this increase. It will mean an increase of just more than R10 per month. Not much when you think of how TM “grows” you!

Mark Barry played the role of Toastmaster tonight. He teaches IT at Vic Park, and in his spare time he is a triathlon champ. He tells us that he has two first names because he is of Irish descent. It’s also the reason that he didn’t focus on women as his theme, as every meeting in the land would be doing this, and the Irish like to do things differently.
Instead, he chose to play the Name Game. Mark claims to be very warlike because Barry means “spear thrower”.

Other roleplayers for the evening included Liandra (brave as a lion/steadfast) Schoultz as timekeeper. Her name also suggests that she stands for the truth (even as a lawyer?!) Liandra is one of our newest Algoans, and she is keen to learn everything that being a TM involves. Well done girl!
Um and ah counter was Louise Solomons (famous in battle/protector/helpful and vigilant). She says the role tests her listening skills – even though famous politicians are guilty. She would love to say to our leaders: “Say what you want to say!”
Grammarian for the evening was Glenis (dweller in the valley/glen – fruitfulness and generosity; Also pure!) She set us the challenging word “ACUMEN” as word of the day. This means keenness/shrewdness. Keen we do well; shrewd, not so much, as only 5 members used the word.

The Table Topics were conducted by Annette (grace has been given to you) Lovemore. She chose the pertinent theme of quotations by or about women, with some pithy words from the “bear of little brain” thrown in for good measure.

Some of the thought-provoking quotes included:

“Women have so much power that luckily the law has given them very little.” “A woman’s chief excitement is spotting women who are slimmer than she is.” – but as Louise Solomons suggested, we should surely look at the woman of substance because every woman is beautiful “No-one can make you feel inferior without your permission” – Eleanor Roosevelt

“There should be a special hell for women who don’t help other women”, and Louise Erasmus suggested that we should add – or men!!! She posed the philosophical questions, that since we live in a me-centred society, is it perhaps hell that we are living in now? “Don’t compromise yourself – you’re all you’ve got.” – Janis Joplin
“Nothing is more effective than the education of girls” – Kofi Anan. It behoves us to educate young – and we will have a better society, because, after all, men run the place, but women run the men!
And some from the bear and friends:
“The nicest thing about the rain is that it stops – eventually!” – Eeyore
No matter how big you are, you still need a little care.” – Winnie the Pooh. Wouldn’t it be nice if we
didn’t reject people just because they’re the wrong shape?

Mark’s closing words were that we need to discover that “Ness” inside us – the little spark that makes us, us. Annette added that the upside is that then we never have to explain our foibles – she could just say it’s her “Annetteness”.

“Women speak two languages – one of which is verbal” – Shakespeare

Two members did speeches tonight:
Rhona Murchie (wise ruler/powerful adviser) did her CC6, illustrating vocal variety, entitled “Once upon a Time”
She suggested that Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm should have written the “Grim” Fairytales because some are macabre indeed. What an inspired topic to illustrate vocal variety – imagine being lucky enough to be a child in Rhona’s class. Methinks the profession is lucky to have this consummate story teller in the classroom.
Nicolas Mitchell (victory of the people, from Nike, the Greek goddess of victory) did his AC 25!! – presenting a report – entitled “Putting Grandma to Rest”. He took the scary out of the legality of conveyancing! Thank goodness there are people like Nicholas! Remember that when you’re this situation, Nicholas is not the enemy!

Tanja Guass ( little queen – called to be a daughter of the king) gave us the toast of the day to Women – to those who marched in 1956, but also to the special woman in our lives – those that we so often take for granted.

Past president conducted the educational from “the successful club” manual. She reminded us that practice truly does make perfect, and that we should also use our TM skills outside the club to sharpen our skills. Once you’ve done your CC10, then what? All projects stretch our skills in speaking and leadership. There are 10 regions in America, and 4 for the rest of the world!! Regions are divided into districts – (we are 74) – then divisions.
We now have 43 members!!!! – This is because of our involvement in area and district and division involvement.
Members are encouraged to go to the district conference. You will always learn something.

WHO’S WITH US!!!!!

The meeting closed with our usual awards. Tonight’s Table Topics winner was Louise Erasmus, who told us that we’d be surprised what happens in a girls’ school.
The Top Toastie award went to someone who works quietly in the background enabling us to step out of our comfort zones: Leann Roos. Thanks Leann!

Our next meeting, on 23 August, will be the Next meeting – humorous speech contest. There will be 9 contestants – come along and support them!!

Love is in the air – congrats go to Quinton Jacobs who has become engaged to Karien! We approve!

P.S. Mea culpa – I promoted Glenis in the last blog, calling her Division Governor, whereas she is in fact the Governor of Area E2. Next year, Glenis. No pressure!